my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
