My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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