I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
