just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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