Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
