Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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