But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
