You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
where are you?
Hypothermia
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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