a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize