She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
