Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Mom said you looked used
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
