I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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