We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
