what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
