Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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