i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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