You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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