I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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