I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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