He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize