So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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