I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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