It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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