areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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