ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
