Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it glows. i had to have it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize