I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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