Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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