so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
