that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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