Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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