The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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