i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
