she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
