batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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