why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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