Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
North Korea, Best Korea!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
