you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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