he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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