she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
