yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Houston, we have a squirter
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
