did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
