I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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