The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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