You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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