You're completely useless in the revolution.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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