I wanna bring you to show and tell
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think your dad took our porno
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
