GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
