Only a mothe r could love this liver
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
