it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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