You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
