I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
