my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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