this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize