hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
