call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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