in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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