Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
