I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
