She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
