We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
