weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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