Nicole vs. Life
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
